Being Empathetic Over Being in Agreement

I just finished reading my first book of the new year. Fraternity, written by Diane Brady, chronicles closely the lives of 5 black men along with several others that pursued higher education at the College of Holy Cross in 1968. Father John Brooks, a dean at the college, was instrumental in convincing these men to pursue their educational aspirations at the

school, regardless of the fact that the school was not traditionally meant for black students at that time. I highly suggest this book to anyone interested in history, education, and/or civil rights.

While at Holy Cross, the BSU (the Black Students Union that was formed) requested and demanded many things of the school’s administration. Many faculty, staff, and the school’s President felt as though Father Brooks gave them their every wish, which was definitely not the case. He cited time and time again that him or anyone else at the school could never fully understand the magnitude of what these students were feeling, but the least he could do was alway listen and hear them out, and try to make them feel as comfortable on the campus as they could.

Picture courtesy of Amazon.com

The perspective of Father Brooks resonates with me when thinking about my communication and interactions with my own children, as well as the students I encounter at school. My daughters are being raised and educated in a different era. Their outlook on things as 2nd and 1st graders are definitely different from the outlook I had when I was at that age. My philosophies and perspectives on things may differ, but as they grow into young critical thinkers and problem solvers, I must be mindful on how comfortable or uncomfortable they are in certain situations and offer the most support I can, even if I’m not in total agreement. This will help me continuously deepen my relationship with them.

I encounter many students at school due to the fact that they have to see me if they receive a discipline referral from one of their teachers. Regardless of the infraction committed or consequence they receive, I like the dialogue that I get from students while they are in my office (this may be the reason it takes me longer to process discipline referrals). I may not agree with their reasoning, but I need to be attentive to their needs. Helping them to correct the negative behaviors that interfere with the educational process is the ultimate goal. This helps me to strengthen my relationships with students, regardless of the fact that I am the disciplinarian they have to see.

Empathy is a trait that I will continuously evaluate myself on as it is a solid leadership trait. As a parent and an educator, it is a critical time for our youth, and empathy will go a long way with strengthen the lines of communication between the generations.